Just Lending a Helping Hand..

By Travis Williams
So Card fans here you are. It’s October and the University of Louisville football team is sitting at an unimpressive 2-4 mark in the third season of the Steve Kragthorpe era (yes this is only the third season).


What the hell happened?

Seems like it was ages ago when Louisville fans actually cared how the BCS ranking system worked.

**Sigh**

The city has since gone on to debate much more frivolous things such as healthcare reform and arena funding. Pretty pathetic.

Well I’m here to help. Since Kragthorpe is playing the role of shy girl at the dance, I’m going to make the first move. I’m going to help draft your resignation letter for you Steve. Feel free to wordsmith where you deem necessary but please try to stay within the essence of this draft.

Now to ensure I make this as effective as possible, I took some advice from an article entitled “Resigning with Class: How to Diplomatically Resign From your Job.”  I’m not suggesting that I’ve never resigned or been fired…I’ve just never done it “diplomatically.”

I found two tips I thought would be helpful in your situation. First one, timing. According to the article, the standard time to submit a resignation is two to four weeks but you should “consult your employee handbook to be certain.”

I doubt the university has anything in the handbook regarding resignation time frame when it comes to completely destroying the football program. But to be safe, we’ll go by the standard. Two to four weeks puts you around early November giving you the option of submitting this letter before the West Virginia game. My suggestion however is afterwards. There’s a good chance morale will be low and a resignation letter could be the catalyst that pushes the team into somehow pulling off a surprising win in your final three games. Use it.

The next nugget of advice touches on negotiating a fair settlement. Tread lightly here Steve. I suggest something along the lines of this:

“Upon receiving this formal resignation, I fully expect the University of Louisville to supply me with a bus ticket to the destination of my choice along with the nameplate on my desk at season’s end.”

And that’s it Steve. Don’t stray too far on this one. Keep it simple. Asking for much more than this could make the separation ugly. See you have to understand that you’ve taken so much from the university already.

Our respectability as an athletics program that could do more than just win at basketball to name one. Every Louisville fan remembers that shellacking at Rutgers last year. Getting your tail whipped 63-14 on ESPN on a Thursday is sure to ruffle some feathers.

Lets not visit that memory any longer and focus on the now. The now is that you can use this letter to openly admit the missteps you took during your tenure. Like how your questionable play-calling made hometown hero Brian Brohm’s decision to return for his senior season, regrettable to put it mildly. Or how you failed to build on the momentum of an Orange Bowl victory as just about any other football coach could have. Or that taking over offensive play calling duties isn’t such a great idea if you’re job is already on the line.

Take a deep breath and let all of those things out in your letter. You’ll feel better for it.

And if this gets to be too much you can look on the bright side. You’ll still be known as a coach who can turn a program around.

Are the Broncos for Real?

            Many of us who take the NFL communion faithfully every Sunday have been asking this very question.  The Denver Broncos are one of five teams currently undefeated.  Sitting at 5-0, Kyle Orton, yes Kyle Orton has the city with thin air somewhat long winded when discussing Super Bowl possibilities. 

            Who woulda thunk it?

            Just a couple of months ago Brandon Marshall was acting a plum fool in practice and demanding a trade.  Franchise signal caller Jay Cutler was traded for some draft picks and a QB (Orton) with a career passer rating of 71.1.  Not to mention legendary coach Mike Shanahan was replaced by first timer Josh McDaniel who looks young enough to be carded at any bar. 

            This thing had rebuilding year typed all over it in 150 pt. font so anything above .500 would be acceptable at this point in the season.  But no one outside of the Broncos locker room predicted a start like this.

            Which makes me wonder, does an unblemished record after five games give you reason to start thinking about playoff matchups?

            Child please!!!

            Have you really stopped to take a look at this perfect record?  A win against the Browns (1-4), the Raiders (1-4), the Bengals (4-1), Patriots (3-2) and the Cowboys(3-2).  Let’s start with the positive.  Anytime you beat Bill Belicheck while Tom Brady and Randy Moss are playing, I’m giving you props. Plain and simple, that’s a good win.  And that’s it for the positives.

            The Broncos beat up on two of the worst teams in the league in the “Reydars!!!” and the Browns.  They slipped by a talented Bengals team on a tipped pass to Brandon Stokley and needed Tony Romo to forget it was fourth down to get past Dem Cowboys. Who tries Champ Bailey twice in a row anyway?

            Before I get all kinds of emails with that old “well it’s not the Broncos fault” opening sentence. Let’s get one thing out in the open.  It’s not their fault.

            As an NFL team, you do what you’re supposed to in order to win. If an overrated quarterback wants to throw at one of the best corners in the game twice, that’s his fault.  If a team’s secondary lets a man slip behind them late in the game then that’s on them.  If you get two scrimmages scheduled early in the season then you win them.

            The point I’m trying to drive home is that a 5-0 record is nothing to get worked up about.  There have been plenty of teams to bolt out of the gate like Usain only to finish like Eight Belles (PETA that was not meant to be funny).  

            Now with games against the Chargers, Steelers and Ravens lined up and waiting, let’s see if that pretty lil undefeated record remains intact.  If it does, I’ll be the first person in line to pave the new Kyle Orton Ct.

            Gotta win a Super Bowl to get a whole street in Denver.    

Louisville

            By now everyone has heard that two University of Louisville basketball players were arrested over the weekend for resisting arrest.  Team captain Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings were at Kye’s in Jeffersonville when apparently the two were involved in an altercation with police. 

            And now reports from the AP wire state that battery and disorderly conduct have been added. 

            In a statement released by the university, the two apologized for fighting with police while coach Rick Pitino stated the matter would be handled internally.

            Note for our younger readers: If you’re not making spectacular plays at a college or university and you “fight” with a police officer, your mug shot will look a lot worse than below.